Retro Birthday Repost - "Growing In"

I recently had a birthday. I have been looking forward to this particular birthday for awhile. I am proud of my age. I am 35 years young this year. This means that I have lived 35 amazing, twisty-turny, happy, heart-achy, liberating, learning years. I am very proud of this accomplishment.

That is the way I see it. It is an accomplishment. Absolutely.

I can guarantee you that I will never be heard saying "I'm not where I thought I would be at *insert age here* " or "I haven't done anything I should have by the time I turned *insert age here*!"

I hear this a lot from people. A lot. It upsets me to hear this coming from anyone. Part of me feels compassion for those people who feel their life has held little worth, while part of me wants to slap that complaint right out of their mouth.

I don't feel I have earned the right to complain about my life. I have not lived a charmed life, whatsoever, but its MY life. And it has been beautiful, even when it wasn't. I wanted to be an artist and a ballerina AND a singer when I grew up. My goals have changed many, many times since I was 5. Would I love to have the ability to put the beauty of my imagination into drawings? Yes. Would I not love to have the talent to move my body beautifully like a trained dancer. Absolutely. Would I not love to stand on stage and sing my heart out to a crowd....well, maybe. BUT, just because none of those things have happened, I will not beat myself up.

With every heartache, disappointment AND accomplishment my strength has grown, and usually I have been presented with great opportunity. More often than not, the end result is always better than I could have imagined. I have learned to embrace challenge and run with it, make it my own.

I remember in my teens thinking I knew everything. Trust me. I know it was just the hormones. In my 20's I thought I was wise and invincible. I was smart, but not wise....and certainly not invincible. Hormones were a big part of my 20's too. One of the most special people in my life summed it up this way; he said "By the time you are 30, you are pretty much who you will be for the rest of your life". I tend to agree, with a caveat; I do believe that most of who you are is in place by the time you are 30....and then you build and (hopefully) grow into your later years with the knowledge of who you are, intact.

I am so excited to get to know myself better as I grow "up". Although I prefer the term growing "in"...which, my interpretation of which is to take what I know of myself and make the person I am smarter, more compassionate to myself and others, stronger, happier and so forth. And by growing "in", my sense of self worth will shine outward and upon other people, hopefully making them better people for knowing me.

Interestingly enough, my life has more or less turned out the way I have envisioned it. Sometimes the pictures in my head are different than how reality presents itself, but one thing has always remained; My life will be beautiful. I will embrace change, beauty, love, risk, and life with every strength I can muster. I will succeed. I will always succeed. This has been, is, and will always be true.

And so it is.