Finding the perfect PHriendship balance

This past weekend was spent with my best friend. We had no husbands to distract us, no job obligations for me, and none of her 3 small children clamoring for her attention. It was awesome, to say the least.

Over lunch, we were discussing the current people in our lives. We are both at the point where we've decided that it is becoming even more important to have quality over quantity when it comes to friends. Being a grown up is hard sometimes, and for that reason alone (never mind all the other reasons we need friends) it is important to only have people around you that nurture you, add to your happiness and elevate you.

We both found it interesting that most friendships seem to have a hierarchy built into them. Whether between 2 friends, or a group of friends.

I thought it was just me, but she admitted to feeling the same way about some of her friends too.

I used the word hierarchy to describe how some friendships feel. With some people it's almost as if you aren't entirely equal. Even though I have a strong personality, am very decisive, and very sure of who I am, I sometimes I feel as though I am the underdog/follower in a friendship. Other times I feel like I am the leader. Often, on my way to meet up with certain friends, I feel like my 36 year old self and then when I get in their presence, I feel like a 6 year old who is trying to stay under the radar and not say anything to set myself apart. Other times, I feel as though the friend I am with feels like the 6 year old - not prepared to really voice the opinion I know they have or be who they really are in front of me. I don't think these positions are agreed to intentionally....no one strong arms the other into taking a lesser position in the friendship, or elevates themselves purposefully. It just seems to be a silent agreement that takes place early in the friendship and continues throughout. It's not a bad thing, either, just very interesting to me. I do feel happier in friendships that have a nice neutral balance to them, however.

It's really rare to find someone who can have a balanced hierarchy or PH balance with.

My best friend and I have that PH(riendship) balance. When we come together we are completely equal. Free to be ourselves, without fear of judgement or rejection. Sometimes, one friend will take the lead and the other will follow, and vise versa, (as we all have strengths that we share at different times-this mostly happens when helping the other person out) but it's not a permanent situation. They both seem to always come back to balance.

I'm lucky to have that true balance with at least one other friend. Being with these people is like eating organic food that hasn't been altered, or like drinking the perfect glass of water. It doesn't need anything added to change the PH balance....it's perfect just the way it is.

And you're healthier and happier for it.