I used to really worry about what people thought of me. Then I learned something that made it impossible for me to worry about what others think of me. So, for the last 12 years I have continued on with my life without that concern. Now, of course I haven't been reckless with my integrity, I just know that I cannot please everyone all of the time.
That said, there is one person that I have always hoped to earn the love and respect of. He joined my family when I was 9 years old. He is my Brother.
We are half-siblings. We share a Father. However, ever since we could explain our relationship to others, it has always been "This is my brother"/ "This is my sister". There are no halves about it.
Because we didn't grow up together full-time, we have never fought. I don't even think there are any pent-up feelings of hurt, resentment or jealousy. I'm sure if we lived together full-time we would have created a typical brother/sister-love/hate relationship. Instead, we created a friendship.
My brother got married in May. I think I've only seen him twice since then. It's okay because we both know that we can always rely on one another. Obviously, I'd like to see him more often. Yesterday, he sent me an email that brought tears to my eyes. The essence of the email was that my brother wants to spend more time with me. I emphatically agreed. I'm so happy that I am the kind of person that my brilliant, loving, amazing brother wants to spend time with.
I've never doubted that he loves me. It's just so nice to hear it.
I wrote this for my brother last year. It seems fitting to share it.....
Brother
Do you see it?
The greatness that you are?
Like a huge bright light
not easily contained
intangible
Amaze me
you do
But I'm not surprised
You are my teacher
taking me back
before bitterness and
defeat ate away at my heart
You restore me
my salvation
Do you know?
You are my muse
my mentor
my blood
Do you feel it?
My overwhelming
love, joy
admiration
respect
It's yours.
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