I used to spend a lot of time on my cell phone checking emails, trolling facebook and talking to people on twitter while I was in the company of people I loved; friends & family.
I knew it was kind of rude, but they understood. They know that my profession is time consuming and doesn't really have any set hours. So they let it slide.
I realized that while at my Dad's I would leave the room to babysit my phone and I would come back part way through a fun conversation and feel left out. Why the hell should I have felt left out? I took myself out.
Imagine my brain is like a light switch with a dimmer feature. Let's assume the light was turned on but when it came to my issue of being attached to my phone, the dimmer switch of awareness was set quite low. There was a light glow of sight for me when it came to this issue.
As I realized I was missing out on things going on without me, even when I was in the room, the dimmer switch slowly moved up the slide, bringing a little bit of awareness with it each time. More and more, the dimmer would move up and things would come into sight much easier and clearer until I decided that enough was enough. I decided that if I committed to being with someone, I wanted to be with them. That meant, as few distractions as possible. I was pretty sure I was committed to that value and then one day, while I was practicing my new found habit of being present I was with some people I had met through social media. If anyone was going to be lenient about social behaviors and short attention spans, it was this group of people. Admittedly, I checked my social outlets a few times during our time out, but when one of the people I was with pulled out a phone charger and plugged it into the wall in the restaurant, so that they could keep texting and tweeting people that weren't with us, the dimmer switch went all the way to the top of the slide. The lights came on for me fully.
I was a bit shocked that this person didn't value the company of the people they were with enough to just let their phone die and be with the rest of us. I was a bit disgusted actually. And then I thought back to all the times I had done the same thing, or something similar.
If I, as someone exposed to social media, and a heavy user of the medium was appalled at this action of another, imagine how my family and friends felt when I halfheartedly participated in conversations and get togethers.
Since that night, I've done my best to be totally present with the people I am with. I admit, I am not perfect at this yet, but more often than not I leave my phone in my purse while out with the important people in my life. It's not always easy, especially when they reach for their phone to check what calls and emails they have missed, but I am trying.
If you are my friend or family member and are reading this, please know that I am conscious of this shortcoming of mine and I am working on it. I value your time. Time lost with my loved ones is time that can't be replaced.
I was at a seminar last week, and the facilitator shared this quote by Brian Dyson, the CEO of Coca-Cola.
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?"
This has stuck with me ever since. It's so true.
It's important to take care of those glass balls. They are irreplaceable.
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