Musical Notes or Majestic Mountains?

I had the recent good fortune of attending the investiture of a family friend of mine into the Order of Alberta. The inductees included our friend, who had started a special needs school, a world renowned paleontologist, a celebrated Native artist, several advocates for human interests, and even our former Provincial Premiere. It was quite a remarkable day for me to be included in.

The most remarkable event of the day for me was meeting the sons of the Paleontologist. One of them sat beside me at dinner, the other across from me. Both arrived at the table smiling, warm and approachable. I noticed that there was something a little different about the brother across the table. As he made efforts to introduce himself and find out about the women on either side of him, I realized that he is deaf. This did not stop him from being one of, if not the most social person at the table. I was immediately drawn to him and his enormous smile. He made his way around the table in conversation as best he could and finally asked me my name. I suddenly started to "sign" my name using the sign language alphabet. I was shocked that I did this, as I hadn't used sign language in over 20 years. Yet, all of a sudden my ego disappeared and I attempted to communicate with him, despite how awkward I looked. He had inspired me within 30 seconds of him arriving at the table.

I enjoyed the conversation I had with the hearing brother. We discussed his schooling and occupation, which surprisingly didn't include paleontology,(he'd had enough exposure to that vocation as a child) but my favorite past-time; music. So, with this brother, I also developed an instant kinship.

I am very sensitive to people being included in things, especially if they are at a disadvantage to enjoy an gathering. Throughout dinner, we all communicated with the deaf brother easily. After dinner there were 8 speeches, which took about 90 minutes. Having asked the hearing brother if his sibling was born deaf or developed it later, he informed me that the disability was from birth and his brother was not able to hear at all. I realized how boring it may seem to a person who cannot hear or read the lips of the people giving the speeches. I felt bad for him, but when I looked over and caught his eye several times, he had a huge smile on his face. He radiated joy the entire night.

I learned from his brother, the musician, that his deaf sibling was an amazing "Rock Band" drummer, and had a complete drum set with cymbals and 2 kick drums! I imagine his ability to focus on the challenge of playing the drums, without being distracted by a singer or guitarist, coupled with his enthusiasm, made him excel at a task most would reserve for a hearing person. I'm sure that there is also a vibrational feedback that he gets when playing, but his ability is undeniable.

The hearing brother asked me the oddest question near the end of dinner. He asked "If you could choose between being blind or deaf, which would you choose?". Without any hesitation, I answered "I'd rather be blind. If I couldn't hear music, I really don't think I could survive." I think he felt the same way. However, two and a half weeks later that question has lingered. My answer has volleyed back and forth over that period of time.

After pondering it, and asking others the same question, I really don't know what I would choose. Well, that's not entirely true....I would choose neither.

One person answered me by saying "being blind would be scary." And I have to agree, although, would it be scary if being blind was all you knew and you could talk to people, hear music, and hear someone say "I love you"? I don't know. Hearing music is all I can think about.

Then I realized that being deaf would only be terrible for me if I hadn't heard music before. If I developed the inability to hear, but had heard music in my life, I would be okay. I wouldn't be perfect, but I would survive. I could see things that jarred a memory and therefore a song that I could hear in my head, or knowing the words and melody, could even sing.

I'm very visual. Eye contact is important to me. Smiles are important to me. Body language is important to me. You can't hear some one's eye's or see their posture. I think sight would be crucial to my enjoyment of life. I live near the mountains. I cannot imagine not being moved by the majesty they exude. I don't think you can hear that. You have to see it to understand.

I think now I would choose to be deaf over blind.

My new friend has taught me that you can hear music even when you can't hear music. And that's all I need.

Thank you, D.