Eat the pie first - life is short

I just got home from Safeway. I would have written this first, but I had to enjoy 2 pieces of banana cream pie....

I stopped at Safeway to pick up some small items; 2 jars of pickled jalapenos, a loaf of bread, a Pre-cooked chicken, 4 "healthy" boathouse juices and an (impulse item) banana cream pie. Most of the check-outs were busy, so I went to til #4, because it had no one in line. The cashier was very pleasant, and we laughed when I apologized for my items by saying "Not a very congruent mix here, with the pie and all". She responded by saying "I always eat the pie first...life is short." She won me over right there and then.

As she was checking my items, she looked at my wrist and remarked as to how much she liked my bracelet. Always wanting to promote my friends, I told her that I bought the bracelet at my friend Kim's store. I proceeded to tell her that Kim, who is tall and gorgeous, empowers women by making them feel beautiful the moment they walk into her store. I always feel amazing and beautiful when I am in Kim's presence, even though she is an absolute "show stopper". It's because she feels confident in her beauty as a woman and does not feel her beauty is diminished by giving another woman power in theirs.

The cashier whispered to me " Between you and me, I'd love to open my own store. It's always been a dream of mine, but you know....money." I noticed how alive her eyes were when she was talking about her dream. I was pretty remarkable. I responded by saying "I understand where you are coming from, but if you "feel" it, do it!" She said "My daughter has 2 years left of school and then maybe I'll do it then". I said "FOR SURE you'll do it then!" Then she said something that broke my heart...."Between you and me, I don't want to tell anyone about my dream because if it didn't happen I'd feel stupid".

I put my debit card back in my wallet, and then I looked her in the eyes and said "Do it. I'd shop at your store." She laughed and said "Aw, thanks hon, maybe some day!"

This is the same woman who encouraged me to "eat the pie first, because life is short", standing there telling me that she is afraid to tell people about her dream because she doesn't want to look stupid if it doesn't happen.....

That's because she hasn't actually decided to follow her dreams.

Let me tell you this...once you make a decision, you have no choice but for your decision to become reality.

Once you make a decision, you let the universe aware of your intentions and you create the reality of it.

Making the decision is often the biggest part of making the dream come true.

Eat the pie first folks, life is short.

Make a decision.

*this event in my life today was HUGE. I made a decision about 2 months ago about a business that will affect many women's lives. Meeting this cashier today only provided me even more fuel to follow my dream. I can't wait to go and find her once my dream becomes a reality. I am going to help her make hers a reality too. Stay tuned......

4 habits that changed my life

I'm incredibly happy with my life. Sure, there are things that could be better. I know that I am in control of most of the outcomes in my life, so if I want things to improve, it's up to me.

However, I do believe that happiness is a habit. And habits are formed with practice and consistency.

I have employed some habits over the years that have literally changed my life;

I stopped taking things personally - This was probably the most important and impactful decision I have ever made in my life.

About 12 years ago I got involved with a man that was SO wrong for me. He took advantage of my good nature and my huge heart. Of everyone I've ever let into my life, he was the most destructive to my well being. But, he was the biggest gift I have ever received. Ironic? His gift to me was the worst relationship I had ever been in. Because of our relationship, I found a couple's relationship course that we took together. I learned so many things about myself during that time, but the most important ( several thousand dollar, yet valuable) lesson I learned was not to take things personally. In addition to that, I learned that whatever we were fighting about had nothing to do with what we were fighting about. It had everything to do with us. Fighting about my messy bathroom counter top, or his addictions, had nothing to do with either of those things, only about how the other person felt when those issues arose.

The same can be said about anything in life. When someone says something snide to/about me, ridicules me, or tries to hurt me, It has NOTHING to do with me. Now, I'm not trying to skirt the blame for things I may do wrong, but if someone takes issue with my personality, talks about me behind my back or takes advantage of me, I realize it has very little ( if anything) to do with me. As an example, I had a man in my industry once tell me that he thought I was arrogant. After getting to know him a bit more, I realized that he appeared to be threatened by me, and my ability to speak my mind. That has NOTHING to do with me, rather, how he felt about himself. I can't change that. I'm not going to change who I am to make him more comfortable.

I have a couple of friends who obsess with what others think of them, and how/why they feel sabotaged by people in their lives. Unless someone is really important to me, I move on when I feel that way. Otherwise I get curious and ask. One could literally drive themselves crazy trying to figure out how others perceive them.

Just remember; the way others treat you speaks volumes about how they feel about themselves. It's really as simple as that.

I surrounded myself with music -My parents and grandparents always had music on in the house. This is a habit I have never grown out of. Good music always moves me. If I'm in a bad mood, I do a check up on myself and often, I notice that I've not heard music for awhile leading up to my negative mood. So, on goes the stereo and 9 times out of 10 I can lift myself out of that funk.

I turned off the TV - I have a select number of TV shows that I am dedicated to watching, and I think that mindless television is a great treat once in awhile. When I refer to turning off the TV, I mean that I have stopped watching the news and reading the newspaper. Seriously. I have no use for it. To me, the press is an entertainment and sales medium. And I am not buying what they are selling. The news is a bad bedtime story. Every time I turn it on, I see a pretty woman with a grin on her face talking about a murder suicide, a car crash, or rape. How the hell can you smile when delivering such heinous news? I imagine it's like your creepy uncle reading you a bedtime story; his bad breath hitting your nostrils right before you lay down and pretend to sleep so he'll leave the room. Forget it. The news reminds me that human beings are pretty unhappy, and rather sick beings who get off on the tragedy of others. That's gross to me. The newspaper is no better. One day it's a story about how bad things are, the next day the same byline has a story with the exact opposite sentiment. Not to mention, most people only read the headlines. The papers know this and create headlines that are catchy and shocking. I don't buy it.

Because I don't digest the news, my life is rather nice. The business that I am in, according to the news, is in dire straits, yet my personal business is flourishing. I believe this has everything to do with my attitude - I don't base my life on what the news tells me. I am aware of what is going on in the world and do my research, independent of the news companies whenever possible. Avoiding the news doesn't make me naive, in fact, I think it sharpens my senses and my ability to recognize what is important in my life and the world around me.

I stopped buying "gossip rags" - I used to purchase gossip rags and devour the nasty rumours manufactured or embellished about celebrities. It used to be kind of fun to see beautiful, rich people having hard times. Then Diana died. I know it seems cliche, but her death made me think about my contribution to her demise. The fact that she was being chased by the paparazzi for photos and gossip, when she died, made me rethink every buying another gossip rag. Every dollar I spend on that type of entertainment just fuels the machine. I realize that they are just for entertainment, but I also reflected on how I felt when I was done "reading" those publications. Instead of feeling superior to those "tortured" celebrities, I felt dirty. So, I made a decision to stop. Once in awhile, when I'm travelling, I am tempted to buy them for the flight, but I decide that sitting looking at the back of the head of the person in front of me is a better use of my time.

I don't judge people who watch the news, buy gossip rags or take things personally. I do judge people that don't like music though! ( I'm kidding ). Each of us has our own set of standards and live our lives the way we see fit. By changing just a few really easy things, I have made my life happier. Obviously, aside from taking things personally, the other 3 may seem small, but they have made a world of difference in my life.

What the F❤ck is Ladylike?

"I’m sorry about your girl
Little center of the universe
Axis turns the world
And you need a jet to get to her
Oh, the way she moves, attracts all kinds of focus
From all over the room
She smokes, not ladylike. She’s not ladylike....

The song scattered throughout this post is written and performed by an amazing woman, and artist, Storm Large. It, along with another song (Dave Matthews Band's "The Stone") really resonates with me every time I hear it.

I often question what ladylike is, because, I admit it; sometimes I am not.

I curse. I wear jeans, rocker T's and leather bracelets. I drink from time to time. And I speak my mind.

A lot of the time.

I do, however, clean up well. I have beautiful designer business clothes that I wear when necessary. I love purses. I cannot pass a shoe store without having a look. I carry on conversations ( 99.99% of them, in fact,) without swearing. I am gracious and kind.

I don't think "ladylike" is always what is on the outside. Sure, you can dress anyone up and present them to the world, but if they don't have what it takes to be a "lady", their appearance will just become a costume.

So, what the fuck is ladylike?

To me, you can answer that question in 2 ways.

Ladylike can be a way you carry yourself. It can come through in the way you present yourself as a human being, a soul. Do you care about people, and does it shine through, sincerely? Do you laugh often, not at others, but with them? Can you look beyond your own mirror into someone else's' eyes, and sympathize with them? Can you? Moreover, will you?

It can shine through in your appearance. Do you care about how you look on the outside? Because, trust me, if you feel lovely on the outside, it is easier to feel lovely on the inside...and then it shines through. But it isn't all about clothes. It can be the laugh lines around your eyes, or a gentle smile. More importantly, it's in the way you carry yourself. Can you enter a room and make your presence known without stealing the show?

In many ways, to me, that is ladylike.

And then, there is lady like. And what I mean by that is doing what the lady likes...

...Well I’m so sorry about your wife
She’s up and off and running

Going on with her own life
Word to your mother
She’s stunning

And there’s a part of you
That’s just a little scared of her
Axis turns the world

And you need a jet to get to her
She’s great and she knows

How to wear the pants
And the rest of your clothes...

I think it is important to do the things that create balance in your life. That is part of nurturing your womanhood. The lyrics above describe me in many ways. I have my own life, apart from my duties as a wife and a business woman. I have never felt more empowered than I have since embracing my needs and focusing my energy on what is important to me. Without that gift to myself, I can turn into a monster....which is in no way, ladylike.

I believe that the key is to do what you like without reckless disregard for those around you. It's an art. If you haven't done "what you want" for much of your life, and then suddenly embrace this value, it can be frightening for you and for those around you. Approaching this with grace embodies the ideal of "ladylike".

What the fuck is ladylike

If ladies like to do what the fuck they like
Just like you, yeah. Just like you

Look out man here comes another one...

Like anything, terms and characterizations, rules and ideas are all open to interpretation. Under my interpretation, I am a lady...

A well-rounded, well-spoken lady who likes to kick a little ass.

...On my knees or on all fours
From underneath
Hear me roar"

Lyrics by Storm Large "Ladylike"

Heart on My Sleeve

My friend's Mother died 2 nights ago. I never knew her, but I know my friend. And I love him. He knows this, and that is why I actually feel more connected to him in this silence he has shrouded himself in. He told me of the news via email and said that he would not be ready to talk for some time. Because I love him, and he me, I feel safe in the fact that by me respecting his wishes of solitude, I am actually performing a more loving act than by calling him and forcing my condolences on him.

It's difficult to leave people alone when you love them. It's a challenge to stand by and just witness what is going on for them, without trying to step in and fix the situation. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that this cannot be fixed.

Of course, I am feeling incredibly sad for my friend. And I feel helpless. This has brought great discomfort for me. I've tried to sleep and waves of sadness flow over and through me. I try to sit/sleep in the discomfort, but my soul calls me to move. And write. So here I am. Moving it. Writing.....

I called both of my parents last night, in tears. I felt that I had to tell them that I love them and wouldn't know what I'd do without them in my life. I realized that they could be taken from me without notice, without consent, without preparation, at any time. The same is true for me. Life is just that...life. It happens. You're born, and if you are lucky you learn, love, laugh, until you leave.

I know that I love my parents. There is no doubt in my mind, heart or soul. It may be naive of me to believe that I have the most ideal parents ( for me ) in the world. I rarely get upset with them, and if we have a disagreement, we quickly discuss and repair any hurt feelings. Our bond is strong.

What I didn't know is that they know that I love them. I mean, really know. Deep in their souls. And if they left their bodies tomorrow, they would have no doubt of my love for them. They both told me so. And I have to trust that they truly know that the love I possess for them is undying. It could never and will never diminish.

I'm pretty confident that they really know that I love them deeply, because they taught me how to love. I know no other way how to love, and it is obvious that they know no other way. If you are loved by my parents, you know it. They truly love many, and are both truly loved by many.

I realized that I am a very loving person. Even when I am not feeling very lovable, or especially forthcoming with my love.

I realized that I am able to portray how much I care for my family and friends in a subtle way. I am also able to express my love in big, bold ways.

I realized that the people I love know it.

There is nothing else I need to do.

I can sleep.....

30 days of Gratitude - And then some

Yeah, Yeah....I know, I said I'd only do 30 days of Gratitude, but whatever....I have A LOT to be grateful for.

Today it's only fitting that I am grateful to live in CANADA. I mean really, really grateful. I know we don't get to pick where we are born, but we can pick where we end up living. I must tell you, I am glad I was born here and happy I have lived here all my life.

Canada is incredibly beautiful, and given the size of our country, our population is comparably small. Yes, the cities are growing, and people are getting busier, but Canada still maintains it's reputation for being friendly and polite.

There are so many things I love about Canada. To name a few;

- Canadians are very free. We go about our daily lives with very little interference from the government. We are never afraid to speak our minds about our positions whether they are religious, political or personal. This is a gift that many countries cannot provide their citizens.

- Hockey was invented here. I don't need to elaborate on that one. :)

- Canadians have a very good sense of humor about themselves. We can make fun of our weather, our politeness, our government. I mean, come on....it's funny because it's true.

- Bob & Doug McKenzie, Beavers, Beer, Touques.....Hockey ( oh, did I already say hockey?)

- "Eh" - Canadians say "eh" so much we don't even know we're saying it, eh.

- Talent - There is so much talent per square inch in Canada, it isn't even measurable. From athletes to musicians, song writers and actors. You're welcome, world.

- Peace Keeping - We get teased by other countries ( okay, mostly by the States) about our military etc., but I am really proud we are not a war-driven country. We have maintained a free country that is admired worldwide without using force on others. I think that's admirable.

There is so much to be grateful for, living in Canada. I'm just glad my parents' parents' parents' chose it long ago as their home.

Happy Canada D'Eh!

Gratitude....

Finding the perfect PHriendship balance

This past weekend was spent with my best friend. We had no husbands to distract us, no job obligations for me, and none of her 3 small children clamoring for her attention. It was awesome, to say the least.

Over lunch, we were discussing the current people in our lives. We are both at the point where we've decided that it is becoming even more important to have quality over quantity when it comes to friends. Being a grown up is hard sometimes, and for that reason alone (never mind all the other reasons we need friends) it is important to only have people around you that nurture you, add to your happiness and elevate you.

We both found it interesting that most friendships seem to have a hierarchy built into them. Whether between 2 friends, or a group of friends.

I thought it was just me, but she admitted to feeling the same way about some of her friends too.

I used the word hierarchy to describe how some friendships feel. With some people it's almost as if you aren't entirely equal. Even though I have a strong personality, am very decisive, and very sure of who I am, I sometimes I feel as though I am the underdog/follower in a friendship. Other times I feel like I am the leader. Often, on my way to meet up with certain friends, I feel like my 36 year old self and then when I get in their presence, I feel like a 6 year old who is trying to stay under the radar and not say anything to set myself apart. Other times, I feel as though the friend I am with feels like the 6 year old - not prepared to really voice the opinion I know they have or be who they really are in front of me. I don't think these positions are agreed to intentionally....no one strong arms the other into taking a lesser position in the friendship, or elevates themselves purposefully. It just seems to be a silent agreement that takes place early in the friendship and continues throughout. It's not a bad thing, either, just very interesting to me. I do feel happier in friendships that have a nice neutral balance to them, however.

It's really rare to find someone who can have a balanced hierarchy or PH balance with.

My best friend and I have that PH(riendship) balance. When we come together we are completely equal. Free to be ourselves, without fear of judgement or rejection. Sometimes, one friend will take the lead and the other will follow, and vise versa, (as we all have strengths that we share at different times-this mostly happens when helping the other person out) but it's not a permanent situation. They both seem to always come back to balance.

I'm lucky to have that true balance with at least one other friend. Being with these people is like eating organic food that hasn't been altered, or like drinking the perfect glass of water. It doesn't need anything added to change the PH balance....it's perfect just the way it is.

And you're healthier and happier for it.

30 Days of Gratitude - A bucket full! (24th-28th)

Just so you know, I am not intentionally avoiding posting every day. I've been away for 3 days in beautiful San Francisco. I have, however, been thankful and aware of things to be grateful for so many things this month, and in the last 5 days, especially.

Walking non-stop, in San Fran, made me grateful for my health - some people do not have the luxury of choosing to walk, instead of taking a cab. Walking also called me to be "present". Aside from having to be aware and not get hit by a car, or pay attention to a map so as not to get lost, it also called me to look at my surroundings and take them in. One of the nice things about when I go on holidays is that "unplugging" from email, my voicemail, my pager and social media, actually heightens my senses. Things look beautiful, food tastes amazing, music sounds clearer. It's really a wonderful way to feel alive again. So, I guess one of my main gratitudes is the ability to HOLIDAY.

Coming home to a clean desk and no smoldering fires to put out is also something I am grateful for. Arriving home at 1:30 am and having to be pulled-together to meet a new client first thing on a Monday is so much easier when there is no chaos to clean up after a holiday. I am grateful to my HUSBAND/business partner who made my little mini-break possible.

One of my friends, even knowing that I was away, made sure to text me while I was away to let me know they were thinking of me. I remember smiling while walking through arrivals in Vancouver, while reading their text. In friendship, as in all relationships, it truly is the LITTLE THINGS.

Above all, I am most grateful for having the time to spend with my BEST FRIEND. With the difference in our lifestyles and our different geographical locations, spending uninterrupted time with my best friend is rare and cherished. Being able to go away with her and shop, eat, laugh, talk, cry and reconnect is one of the highlights of my year so far. She is one of the best human beings I know. I'm very privileged to have her in my life.

Gratitude.....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 21-23

I have a potpourri of gratitudes this week;

CAT NAPS - The other day I lay down for 20 minutes. My male cat, Adonis came and joined me. He has this thing about laying beside me and snuggling in. I wrap my arm around him and he relaxes his head and falls asleep on my arm. The trouble with this is that when I'm ready to get up, he most certainly is not. So, the other day, he "forced" me to nap for 80 minutes instead. I needed that.

It's always comforting to fall asleep to a purring cat.

A related gratitude is VEGGING OUT - Lately, work has been testing me. I come home burnt out and feeling aggravated. The thought of scanning and uploading another document, or answering another "small" request implodes my brain. So, this week, I have been giving myself permission to just chill out in the evenings. I feel much better for it. It doesn't hurt that I have discovered a TV show that I love ( Flipping Out) thus making it very easy to have a mindless TV marathon and giving my brain a break.

One more thing;

I am very grateful for my friend, RICHARD. He is one of my friends from Vancouver. Although he is 15 years younger than me, I feel that in many ways, he is much older than that. I am always in awe with his ambition and determination. We have differing opinions about which hockey team is better ( Flames or Canucks ) but we don't let that rivalry get between us.

Richard has taken the initiative to organize a project called "Five Hole for Food", an effort to raise money, collect food and raise awareness for food banks across Canada. He is taking one of his favorite things; hockey, and employing that passion to make a difference. He stayed at our house on his way to Toronto ( via car ) and will be making his way back across Canada, stopping in major cities to host a street hockey game and food collection event.

I think that even though I am a lot older than Richard, I am learning more from him than he is learning from me.

That excites me.

You can see what Richard is doing at Five Hole For Food


Gratitude.....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 17-20

Seeing that's it's Father's Day, I think it was only appropriate that the idea for my gratefulness post came to me this morning on my way to my brother's for breakfast with my family.

This weekend, I am grateful for my MAngels.

I am not at all religious, but I do believe that humans have the ability to help each other out without being physically present with the person they are assisting.

Because this is a multi-day post, I will be grateful for the different types of MAngels in my life ;

My friendly, neighborhood MAngelmen;

If you have been in my life lately, you'll know if you fall into this category. You are a dear male friend who has made his presence known this week. Be it through text message, email, facebook message, a phone call, a series of comical emails, or time spent together. You are slowly restoring my faith in the male spirit to just be a listener, a confidante, a friend. You recognize that you don't need to "fix" it or me, you just need to be with me in it.

And sometimes, you don't even know you're helping me.

If you have done any of the above lately, I thank you with the biggest of hearts.

Daddy Mangels;

I have many male friends who are separated or divorced. Every single one of them have taken the enthusiastic initiave to be an excellent parent to their children. In some cases, they are the sole/majority custodian of their children. I am so, so happy that I can call these parents/role models/instillers of confidence and love, my friends. Being a child of divorced parents, and having such a Daddy MAngel as these friends are, I know how important it is to have the male influence in a child's life. It is instrumental to the self-esteem and confidence of a child.

I appreciate every one of my single dad friends, who are giving dads, worldwide, a wonderful name.

My Dad

My dad is an angel. He is the measuring stick, not only for men in my life, but for everyone that I welcome into my life. Together, with my mom, he has created a safe, loving environment to be myself. He has guided me, advised me, accepted me and loved me unconditionally through my entire life.

Not many people know this about my dad. He does spiritual healing. It's a gift he's had for decades and it is something that he is so skilled at, and he executes it with the kindest and most sincere of approaches. Although it is not his occupation, I believe it is his calling.

I often get the feeling that my dad doesn't feel he has been the best father in the world. I'm glad I have the rest of my life to prove it to him.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 14, 15, 16

Wow, I sort of fell off the wagon with my blog posts there, folks. I was/am exhausted so felt that I should rest rather than do anything else I felt obligated to do.

I was actually starting to feel like this blog wasn't having an impact but I got some unsolicited feedback from 2 friends and I realize that even though people don't make comments on the blog, doesn't mean they aren't reading and appreciating it. So, thank you. I am grateful for those of you who are reading and appreciating what I am trying to do here.

Looks like I have some catching up to do!! So, here we go...

Over the past 3 days, I, admittedly, haven't been feeling very grateful. Not that I've been ungrateful, I've just felt kind of meh. BUT, there is always something to be grateful for.

I think what the last 3 days has taught me is that people DO care about me. I think I'm difficult to "love" ,sometimes, in that I have a very independent nature and don't ask for support or help very often. So, I am really grateful for those of you in my life that reach out when you know something isn't quite right with me. THANK YOU.

I am also really grateful for MUSIC. We have all experienced that moment when the most appropriate song finds us, whether we are going through a loss or challenge, or deeply in love, or excited, or sad. I spend so much time in my car, mostly alone, and this week the most appropriate songs reached through my stereo and found me. The 3 songs that made the biggest impact on me, or reminded me of my values and who I am are;

"Seek Up" - Dave Matthews Band "....you seek up an emotion and our cup is overflowing...." (more)
"Step Inside this House" - Lyle Lovett "....It's funny how I loved that book, and I never loved that girl...." (more)
"I've Been This Way Before" - Neil Diamond. "....some people never see the light until the day they die..." (more)

They all resonate for different reasons. All 3 have been on repeat this week. I encourage you to read the lyrics or listen to them. They are all beautiful songs; each with a great message.

One day I'd like to sit down and start to compile the "Soundtrack to my life". It would be a huge project. Maybe it should be on my bucket list....


I am also grateful for CHILDREN, specifically their authenticity. I am so fortunate to volunteer at a school with an emphasis on the development of special needs children. (There are also typical children in attendance at this wonderful school) As the school year draws to a close, the children are enjoying special "theme" days. Today was sports day, but because it was so miserable outside, we all needed to be flexible. All of the kindergarten classes were transformed into "stations" and the children were able to move freely around the rooms and explore the different opportunities. I was in the music room. We had bongo drums, bells, triangles, rubbing sticks....the whole nine yards really. It was wonderful to watch them "dance like no one is watching". Total authenticity. We ( the adults) couldn't help but follow their lead. At one point, a sweet little boy had a plastic hammer and was beating it against the bongo drums. He accidentally hit me in the chin with the hammer. He looked at me and said "I'm sorry" and then took the palm of his hand and caressed my whole face until he knew that I was okay. It was the sweetest thing I'd seen in a long time. You cannot teach that kind of authentic compassion. But you can unteach it. Let's agree not to do that to our children.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 13

Today I am grateful for CHEAP AIRFARE.

My friend Jess is moving back to Vancouver to continue her residency there. She is a friend that I met while representing her when she relocated to Calgary. She is yet another friend made through work, that I am sending off to Vancouver.

My best friend lived in Calgary when I met her through her husband. He and I met through work. They moved back to Vancouver about 5 years ago.

I met my friend Gwen in Calgary, and helped her with her relocation to Vancouver. Our friendship was too short here in Calgary, but we've maintained and strenghtened our relationship even though she lives in Vancouver.

The most important person in my life; my Mom, has plans to move to Vancouver permanently within the next 2 years.

I think the universe is telling me something ;

Either;

People move to Vancouver to get away from me

OR

I need to spend more time there. :)

I have several friends I care about in the Vancouver area. I'm thrilled to know that I am only a few hundred dollars and and hour flight away. I can really see them any time I want.

Cheap airfare works for other cities too! Last fall I visited friends in Chicago, New York and Raliegh, NC for $900 Canadian ( 3 out of 4 of those flights were direct too!)

Yay for CHEAP AIRFARE!

Gratitude...

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 12

Wow! I'm exhausted....so tired that I am sure I shouldn't have been driving yesterday. It's from work, yes, but also from filling my days with "yes, yes, yes" instead of "nos".

This weekend, I am grateful for the word NO.
In it's entirety.
"No" is a complete sentence.

I'm pretty much over trying to please everyone, because I have found that is impossible. So, sometimes I need to say "No" or "No, thank you" to someone or something, in order to say "Yes" to myself.

I'm becoming increasingly comfortable with the notion that No is not necessarily a negative. It's actually liberating to say, and to practice.

So long as I am "for something" ( like resting, exercising, nurturing my soul, hanging out by myself ) and not "against something" else ( like, just saying "no" to be difficult ) I am fine with NO.

Saying No once in awhile, allows me to say "Yes" with enthusiasm, more often.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 11

Today I am grateful for a gift my mom gave me when I was small :

OPTIMISM.

I think there is a clear difference between optimism and naivety/ignorance/denial.

Part of naivety is to believe that a situation doesn't have an impact.
Part of ignorance about your situation is to be unaware that there is a solution.
Part of denial is to ignore the problem and/or the solution.

I believe that to be optimistic does not make you an idiot to know in your heart that everything will work out for the best. To be optimistic is to choose the positive side of a situation. To be optimistic is to choose happiness in your life, regardless of your present circumstances.

My mom and I "argue" about who came up with our shared mantra "Every problem has a solution". She thinks that I came up with it; I believe she instilled it in me and I just "shared" it back in my adult life.

When you seriously look at a situation, no matter how dire it appears, there is always a solution. All Ways. You just have to be prepared to LOOK at the situation. And you know what? Not every solution is favorable, or feels good. But solutions exist. They allow you to make a decision and move on. That in itself is a positive.

I know in my heart of hearts, that no matter what is thrown is my way, OR what I attract ( which really is the key to learning what I'm supposed to learn in that moment);

There IS a SOLUTION.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
And I WILL BE OKAY.
In fact, I WILL BE BETTER THAN OKAY.

This is the gift my mom gave me in the womb. It's a FACT.

You can not convince me otherwise.

Thank you, Mom


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 10

Well, it's actually the 11th day, but since I'm still awake at 1:30, I think this still qualifies as Day 10.

I'm so wiped out so I will make this short.....

I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends these days; trying to fit everything and every ONE into my schedule.

So, today I am grateful that I HAVE two ends of the candle to burn. I have my health, my wit and my sense of humor. I'm very fortunate that I CAN burn the candle at both ends.

I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel....things will slow down, and then I will be grateful for the break.

It's always the way it should be.

Gratitude...

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 9

I had a fantastic day. Early in the day, I had a discussion about my "trust meter" with a friend of mine. I want to get back to my gratitude for trust at a later date, because later I was inspired to write about HONESTY.

I watched the Oprah interview with Sarah Ferguson this evening and was touched at just how honest Sarah appeared. She seemed truthful and vulnerable, and sincere.

It reminded me that I really do appreciate honesty in my relationships. Trust me, it's sometimes difficult to find. I know we all tell little white lies to protect others, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the "get real" honesty that is shared by people that have a strong "trust meter".

I think it's important not to lie when the truth will do, which is most often. I think it's important to offer truthful opinions when asked by someone you care about. I think it's important to tell people how you feel, even if it risks them being unhappy, or makes you appear the fool.

Sometimes people tell you that they want to hear the truth, but they actually don't. Knowing how to approach these situations is an art. It takes practice. With those people, I tend to have "silent agreements" about how we continue on with our friendship. Both people know, on a very unconscious level, that small lies ( even those by omission) are being told between them. This isn't wrong, it happens. But more and more, I am welcoming people into my life that are "full disclosure" type of people. If I am uncomfortable with their honesty or their truth, it says more about me than it does about them.

I'm grateful for the few people in which I have a completely honest relationship with. You know who you are.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 8

Today, and every day, I am grateful for my FRIENDS.

I was given a heart token today that read "Friends are the family we make for ourselves". I found that so appropriate, especially as lately I have really been evaluating my relationships and trying to strengthen the friendships that are deep and meaningful to me.

One day I was having a rough "family" day and made a joke : "Family is the reason we make friends". I really didn't mean it, because my family is tremendous. I know you may be thinking "Yeah right, no one's family is perfect or wonderful all the time", but my family really is. My parents have set an example about how to treat each other ( they've been divorced for 30+ years) that I haven't seen demonstrated very often. My brother is amazing and the rest of my extended family adds so much substance to my life.

But, my FRIENDS.....my friends are amazing. I am so grateful to have such beautiful, straightforward, caring friends. They also are incredibly patient with me when I "disappear" or aren't 100 % present in their lives. I always feel supported, never alone. In fact, the only time I feel lonely is when I take myself "out". They always reach out, even if I am not always available to receive their love.

So, to my friends. Thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in my extended "family"

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 7

I laughed a lot today. And ended my evening with a phone call full of laughter.

I'm so grateful to have people in my life that bring me joy. There is nothing better than a good, deep, belly laugh.

I laughed a lot on the weekend, too. Laughed until I cried. Had some sad tears as well, but the laughter is what I remember the most.

I'm so grateful to have people in my life that I feel safe enough to cry around. They are usually the ones that also make me laugh with the most feeling and sincerity.

I know I will laugh tomorrow too, because life is too short to go around being worried and stoic.

I'm so grateful that I can go to bed tonight, full of love and joy, and wake up happy tomorrow.


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 6

...."please ensure your own oxygen mask is securely fastened before you attempt to assist others with their masks"....

We all know the flight attendant speech that is made before each flight we take off on. The reason they want us to put our own oxygen mask on before helping someone else is so that we CAN help the other person. Without our own mask, we may not get the oxygen we need to ensure that we are capable of helping others.

Today, I am grateful for OXYGEN MASKS. Not the ones that fall from the ceiling of an airplane in the event of an accident, but the people who in my life that support me. I picked up the analogy from the facilitator of the workshop I attended this weekend. She made such a good point about having people around you that speak your language and can breathe life back into you, when you feel as though you can't breathe or carry on.

In life, much like on a plane, oxygen masks are rare. There are enough for everyone, but they aren't necessarily in abundance.

There are a few people who speak my language, who know the cues to watch for when I am "out of breath", who are my lifeline. They are available, literally and figuratively, when I need them. They can sense the turbulence and "drop from the ceiling" so that I can take a breath and survive another day.

I am so grateful for my Mom, Dad, and cherished Friends....

My Oxygen Masks.

THANK YOU


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 4 and 5

I had some anxiety on Friday when I found out the hotel room I was staying in didn't have wifi. This meant that I couldn't post to my blog while I was away for the weekend. It did, however, allow me to focus on the person I was spending time with, which makes me grateful. More on that a little later in the post. In the meantime, I will fill you in on what I initially intended to post....

Day 4

Today I am grateful for being ALIVE. I am grateful every day, but day 4 was my birthday, which is that annual wake up call that, whether you like it or not, makes you stop for a moment and take stock of your life.

I love getting older. When I was in my 20s, I thought I knew it all. And now, in my 30s, I KNOW that I don't KNOW it all. I'm so excited to see what the future holds, while I do my best to live in each moment.

It really disappoints me when people have a birthday and find it depressing because they don't believe they are where they should be in life. Instead of reflecting on where one "should" have been, I suggest looking at where you are. If you look closely, you will probably recognize that you are EXACTLY where you should be.

Are you happy? Are you ALIVE? More importantly, are you happy and grateful to be alive? I know that I am.

I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for my wonderful parents. So, this would be an appropriate opportunity to express my gratitude of them. I also wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for the "village" of people that have "raised" me; parents, family, friends, teachers, mentors.

Gratitude....

Day 5

Today I am grateful for the UNIVERSE'S INTUITION.



Let me explain....

This weekend I was enrolled in a workshop that arrived at just the right moment in my life, because I was ready for it.

This workshop really required my utmost attention. It required my dedication. It required no distraction.

Well, guess what? Because my intent was clear, which was to be present, the universe created an environment which allowed me to focus on my goal.

Normally, my cell phone rings several times a day for business and I am inundated with texts and emails from clients and colleagues. This weekend, the phone was eerily but gratefully quiet. This enabled me to do what I needed to do.

Gratitude....

Read last year's birthday blog post here...

Retro Birthday Repost - "Growing In"

I recently had a birthday. I have been looking forward to this particular birthday for awhile. I am proud of my age. I am 35 years young this year. This means that I have lived 35 amazing, twisty-turny, happy, heart-achy, liberating, learning years. I am very proud of this accomplishment.

That is the way I see it. It is an accomplishment. Absolutely.

I can guarantee you that I will never be heard saying "I'm not where I thought I would be at *insert age here* " or "I haven't done anything I should have by the time I turned *insert age here*!"

I hear this a lot from people. A lot. It upsets me to hear this coming from anyone. Part of me feels compassion for those people who feel their life has held little worth, while part of me wants to slap that complaint right out of their mouth.

I don't feel I have earned the right to complain about my life. I have not lived a charmed life, whatsoever, but its MY life. And it has been beautiful, even when it wasn't. I wanted to be an artist and a ballerina AND a singer when I grew up. My goals have changed many, many times since I was 5. Would I love to have the ability to put the beauty of my imagination into drawings? Yes. Would I not love to have the talent to move my body beautifully like a trained dancer. Absolutely. Would I not love to stand on stage and sing my heart out to a crowd....well, maybe. BUT, just because none of those things have happened, I will not beat myself up.

With every heartache, disappointment AND accomplishment my strength has grown, and usually I have been presented with great opportunity. More often than not, the end result is always better than I could have imagined. I have learned to embrace challenge and run with it, make it my own.

I remember in my teens thinking I knew everything. Trust me. I know it was just the hormones. In my 20's I thought I was wise and invincible. I was smart, but not wise....and certainly not invincible. Hormones were a big part of my 20's too. One of the most special people in my life summed it up this way; he said "By the time you are 30, you are pretty much who you will be for the rest of your life". I tend to agree, with a caveat; I do believe that most of who you are is in place by the time you are 30....and then you build and (hopefully) grow into your later years with the knowledge of who you are, intact.

I am so excited to get to know myself better as I grow "up". Although I prefer the term growing "in"...which, my interpretation of which is to take what I know of myself and make the person I am smarter, more compassionate to myself and others, stronger, happier and so forth. And by growing "in", my sense of self worth will shine outward and upon other people, hopefully making them better people for knowing me.

Interestingly enough, my life has more or less turned out the way I have envisioned it. Sometimes the pictures in my head are different than how reality presents itself, but one thing has always remained; My life will be beautiful. I will embrace change, beauty, love, risk, and life with every strength I can muster. I will succeed. I will always succeed. This has been, is, and will always be true.

And so it is.