Musical Notes or Majestic Mountains?

I had the recent good fortune of attending the investiture of a family friend of mine into the Order of Alberta. The inductees included our friend, who had started a special needs school, a world renowned paleontologist, a celebrated Native artist, several advocates for human interests, and even our former Provincial Premiere. It was quite a remarkable day for me to be included in.

The most remarkable event of the day for me was meeting the sons of the Paleontologist. One of them sat beside me at dinner, the other across from me. Both arrived at the table smiling, warm and approachable. I noticed that there was something a little different about the brother across the table. As he made efforts to introduce himself and find out about the women on either side of him, I realized that he is deaf. This did not stop him from being one of, if not the most social person at the table. I was immediately drawn to him and his enormous smile. He made his way around the table in conversation as best he could and finally asked me my name. I suddenly started to "sign" my name using the sign language alphabet. I was shocked that I did this, as I hadn't used sign language in over 20 years. Yet, all of a sudden my ego disappeared and I attempted to communicate with him, despite how awkward I looked. He had inspired me within 30 seconds of him arriving at the table.

I enjoyed the conversation I had with the hearing brother. We discussed his schooling and occupation, which surprisingly didn't include paleontology,(he'd had enough exposure to that vocation as a child) but my favorite past-time; music. So, with this brother, I also developed an instant kinship.

I am very sensitive to people being included in things, especially if they are at a disadvantage to enjoy an gathering. Throughout dinner, we all communicated with the deaf brother easily. After dinner there were 8 speeches, which took about 90 minutes. Having asked the hearing brother if his sibling was born deaf or developed it later, he informed me that the disability was from birth and his brother was not able to hear at all. I realized how boring it may seem to a person who cannot hear or read the lips of the people giving the speeches. I felt bad for him, but when I looked over and caught his eye several times, he had a huge smile on his face. He radiated joy the entire night.

I learned from his brother, the musician, that his deaf sibling was an amazing "Rock Band" drummer, and had a complete drum set with cymbals and 2 kick drums! I imagine his ability to focus on the challenge of playing the drums, without being distracted by a singer or guitarist, coupled with his enthusiasm, made him excel at a task most would reserve for a hearing person. I'm sure that there is also a vibrational feedback that he gets when playing, but his ability is undeniable.

The hearing brother asked me the oddest question near the end of dinner. He asked "If you could choose between being blind or deaf, which would you choose?". Without any hesitation, I answered "I'd rather be blind. If I couldn't hear music, I really don't think I could survive." I think he felt the same way. However, two and a half weeks later that question has lingered. My answer has volleyed back and forth over that period of time.

After pondering it, and asking others the same question, I really don't know what I would choose. Well, that's not entirely true....I would choose neither.

One person answered me by saying "being blind would be scary." And I have to agree, although, would it be scary if being blind was all you knew and you could talk to people, hear music, and hear someone say "I love you"? I don't know. Hearing music is all I can think about.

Then I realized that being deaf would only be terrible for me if I hadn't heard music before. If I developed the inability to hear, but had heard music in my life, I would be okay. I wouldn't be perfect, but I would survive. I could see things that jarred a memory and therefore a song that I could hear in my head, or knowing the words and melody, could even sing.

I'm very visual. Eye contact is important to me. Smiles are important to me. Body language is important to me. You can't hear some one's eye's or see their posture. I think sight would be crucial to my enjoyment of life. I live near the mountains. I cannot imagine not being moved by the majesty they exude. I don't think you can hear that. You have to see it to understand.

I think now I would choose to be deaf over blind.

My new friend has taught me that you can hear music even when you can't hear music. And that's all I need.

Thank you, D.

30 days of Gratitude - And then some

Yeah, Yeah....I know, I said I'd only do 30 days of Gratitude, but whatever....I have A LOT to be grateful for.

Today it's only fitting that I am grateful to live in CANADA. I mean really, really grateful. I know we don't get to pick where we are born, but we can pick where we end up living. I must tell you, I am glad I was born here and happy I have lived here all my life.

Canada is incredibly beautiful, and given the size of our country, our population is comparably small. Yes, the cities are growing, and people are getting busier, but Canada still maintains it's reputation for being friendly and polite.

There are so many things I love about Canada. To name a few;

- Canadians are very free. We go about our daily lives with very little interference from the government. We are never afraid to speak our minds about our positions whether they are religious, political or personal. This is a gift that many countries cannot provide their citizens.

- Hockey was invented here. I don't need to elaborate on that one. :)

- Canadians have a very good sense of humor about themselves. We can make fun of our weather, our politeness, our government. I mean, come on....it's funny because it's true.

- Bob & Doug McKenzie, Beavers, Beer, Touques.....Hockey ( oh, did I already say hockey?)

- "Eh" - Canadians say "eh" so much we don't even know we're saying it, eh.

- Talent - There is so much talent per square inch in Canada, it isn't even measurable. From athletes to musicians, song writers and actors. You're welcome, world.

- Peace Keeping - We get teased by other countries ( okay, mostly by the States) about our military etc., but I am really proud we are not a war-driven country. We have maintained a free country that is admired worldwide without using force on others. I think that's admirable.

There is so much to be grateful for, living in Canada. I'm just glad my parents' parents' parents' chose it long ago as their home.

Happy Canada D'Eh!

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - A bucket full! (24th-28th)

Just so you know, I am not intentionally avoiding posting every day. I've been away for 3 days in beautiful San Francisco. I have, however, been thankful and aware of things to be grateful for so many things this month, and in the last 5 days, especially.

Walking non-stop, in San Fran, made me grateful for my health - some people do not have the luxury of choosing to walk, instead of taking a cab. Walking also called me to be "present". Aside from having to be aware and not get hit by a car, or pay attention to a map so as not to get lost, it also called me to look at my surroundings and take them in. One of the nice things about when I go on holidays is that "unplugging" from email, my voicemail, my pager and social media, actually heightens my senses. Things look beautiful, food tastes amazing, music sounds clearer. It's really a wonderful way to feel alive again. So, I guess one of my main gratitudes is the ability to HOLIDAY.

Coming home to a clean desk and no smoldering fires to put out is also something I am grateful for. Arriving home at 1:30 am and having to be pulled-together to meet a new client first thing on a Monday is so much easier when there is no chaos to clean up after a holiday. I am grateful to my HUSBAND/business partner who made my little mini-break possible.

One of my friends, even knowing that I was away, made sure to text me while I was away to let me know they were thinking of me. I remember smiling while walking through arrivals in Vancouver, while reading their text. In friendship, as in all relationships, it truly is the LITTLE THINGS.

Above all, I am most grateful for having the time to spend with my BEST FRIEND. With the difference in our lifestyles and our different geographical locations, spending uninterrupted time with my best friend is rare and cherished. Being able to go away with her and shop, eat, laugh, talk, cry and reconnect is one of the highlights of my year so far. She is one of the best human beings I know. I'm very privileged to have her in my life.

Gratitude.....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 21-23

I have a potpourri of gratitudes this week;

CAT NAPS - The other day I lay down for 20 minutes. My male cat, Adonis came and joined me. He has this thing about laying beside me and snuggling in. I wrap my arm around him and he relaxes his head and falls asleep on my arm. The trouble with this is that when I'm ready to get up, he most certainly is not. So, the other day, he "forced" me to nap for 80 minutes instead. I needed that.

It's always comforting to fall asleep to a purring cat.

A related gratitude is VEGGING OUT - Lately, work has been testing me. I come home burnt out and feeling aggravated. The thought of scanning and uploading another document, or answering another "small" request implodes my brain. So, this week, I have been giving myself permission to just chill out in the evenings. I feel much better for it. It doesn't hurt that I have discovered a TV show that I love ( Flipping Out) thus making it very easy to have a mindless TV marathon and giving my brain a break.

One more thing;

I am very grateful for my friend, RICHARD. He is one of my friends from Vancouver. Although he is 15 years younger than me, I feel that in many ways, he is much older than that. I am always in awe with his ambition and determination. We have differing opinions about which hockey team is better ( Flames or Canucks ) but we don't let that rivalry get between us.

Richard has taken the initiative to organize a project called "Five Hole for Food", an effort to raise money, collect food and raise awareness for food banks across Canada. He is taking one of his favorite things; hockey, and employing that passion to make a difference. He stayed at our house on his way to Toronto ( via car ) and will be making his way back across Canada, stopping in major cities to host a street hockey game and food collection event.

I think that even though I am a lot older than Richard, I am learning more from him than he is learning from me.

That excites me.

You can see what Richard is doing at Five Hole For Food


Gratitude.....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 17-20

Seeing that's it's Father's Day, I think it was only appropriate that the idea for my gratefulness post came to me this morning on my way to my brother's for breakfast with my family.

This weekend, I am grateful for my MAngels.

I am not at all religious, but I do believe that humans have the ability to help each other out without being physically present with the person they are assisting.

Because this is a multi-day post, I will be grateful for the different types of MAngels in my life ;

My friendly, neighborhood MAngelmen;

If you have been in my life lately, you'll know if you fall into this category. You are a dear male friend who has made his presence known this week. Be it through text message, email, facebook message, a phone call, a series of comical emails, or time spent together. You are slowly restoring my faith in the male spirit to just be a listener, a confidante, a friend. You recognize that you don't need to "fix" it or me, you just need to be with me in it.

And sometimes, you don't even know you're helping me.

If you have done any of the above lately, I thank you with the biggest of hearts.

Daddy Mangels;

I have many male friends who are separated or divorced. Every single one of them have taken the enthusiastic initiave to be an excellent parent to their children. In some cases, they are the sole/majority custodian of their children. I am so, so happy that I can call these parents/role models/instillers of confidence and love, my friends. Being a child of divorced parents, and having such a Daddy MAngel as these friends are, I know how important it is to have the male influence in a child's life. It is instrumental to the self-esteem and confidence of a child.

I appreciate every one of my single dad friends, who are giving dads, worldwide, a wonderful name.

My Dad

My dad is an angel. He is the measuring stick, not only for men in my life, but for everyone that I welcome into my life. Together, with my mom, he has created a safe, loving environment to be myself. He has guided me, advised me, accepted me and loved me unconditionally through my entire life.

Not many people know this about my dad. He does spiritual healing. It's a gift he's had for decades and it is something that he is so skilled at, and he executes it with the kindest and most sincere of approaches. Although it is not his occupation, I believe it is his calling.

I often get the feeling that my dad doesn't feel he has been the best father in the world. I'm glad I have the rest of my life to prove it to him.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 14, 15, 16

Wow, I sort of fell off the wagon with my blog posts there, folks. I was/am exhausted so felt that I should rest rather than do anything else I felt obligated to do.

I was actually starting to feel like this blog wasn't having an impact but I got some unsolicited feedback from 2 friends and I realize that even though people don't make comments on the blog, doesn't mean they aren't reading and appreciating it. So, thank you. I am grateful for those of you who are reading and appreciating what I am trying to do here.

Looks like I have some catching up to do!! So, here we go...

Over the past 3 days, I, admittedly, haven't been feeling very grateful. Not that I've been ungrateful, I've just felt kind of meh. BUT, there is always something to be grateful for.

I think what the last 3 days has taught me is that people DO care about me. I think I'm difficult to "love" ,sometimes, in that I have a very independent nature and don't ask for support or help very often. So, I am really grateful for those of you in my life that reach out when you know something isn't quite right with me. THANK YOU.

I am also really grateful for MUSIC. We have all experienced that moment when the most appropriate song finds us, whether we are going through a loss or challenge, or deeply in love, or excited, or sad. I spend so much time in my car, mostly alone, and this week the most appropriate songs reached through my stereo and found me. The 3 songs that made the biggest impact on me, or reminded me of my values and who I am are;

"Seek Up" - Dave Matthews Band "....you seek up an emotion and our cup is overflowing...." (more)
"Step Inside this House" - Lyle Lovett "....It's funny how I loved that book, and I never loved that girl...." (more)
"I've Been This Way Before" - Neil Diamond. "....some people never see the light until the day they die..." (more)

They all resonate for different reasons. All 3 have been on repeat this week. I encourage you to read the lyrics or listen to them. They are all beautiful songs; each with a great message.

One day I'd like to sit down and start to compile the "Soundtrack to my life". It would be a huge project. Maybe it should be on my bucket list....


I am also grateful for CHILDREN, specifically their authenticity. I am so fortunate to volunteer at a school with an emphasis on the development of special needs children. (There are also typical children in attendance at this wonderful school) As the school year draws to a close, the children are enjoying special "theme" days. Today was sports day, but because it was so miserable outside, we all needed to be flexible. All of the kindergarten classes were transformed into "stations" and the children were able to move freely around the rooms and explore the different opportunities. I was in the music room. We had bongo drums, bells, triangles, rubbing sticks....the whole nine yards really. It was wonderful to watch them "dance like no one is watching". Total authenticity. We ( the adults) couldn't help but follow their lead. At one point, a sweet little boy had a plastic hammer and was beating it against the bongo drums. He accidentally hit me in the chin with the hammer. He looked at me and said "I'm sorry" and then took the palm of his hand and caressed my whole face until he knew that I was okay. It was the sweetest thing I'd seen in a long time. You cannot teach that kind of authentic compassion. But you can unteach it. Let's agree not to do that to our children.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 13

Today I am grateful for CHEAP AIRFARE.

My friend Jess is moving back to Vancouver to continue her residency there. She is a friend that I met while representing her when she relocated to Calgary. She is yet another friend made through work, that I am sending off to Vancouver.

My best friend lived in Calgary when I met her through her husband. He and I met through work. They moved back to Vancouver about 5 years ago.

I met my friend Gwen in Calgary, and helped her with her relocation to Vancouver. Our friendship was too short here in Calgary, but we've maintained and strenghtened our relationship even though she lives in Vancouver.

The most important person in my life; my Mom, has plans to move to Vancouver permanently within the next 2 years.

I think the universe is telling me something ;

Either;

People move to Vancouver to get away from me

OR

I need to spend more time there. :)

I have several friends I care about in the Vancouver area. I'm thrilled to know that I am only a few hundred dollars and and hour flight away. I can really see them any time I want.

Cheap airfare works for other cities too! Last fall I visited friends in Chicago, New York and Raliegh, NC for $900 Canadian ( 3 out of 4 of those flights were direct too!)

Yay for CHEAP AIRFARE!

Gratitude...

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 12

Wow! I'm exhausted....so tired that I am sure I shouldn't have been driving yesterday. It's from work, yes, but also from filling my days with "yes, yes, yes" instead of "nos".

This weekend, I am grateful for the word NO.
In it's entirety.
"No" is a complete sentence.

I'm pretty much over trying to please everyone, because I have found that is impossible. So, sometimes I need to say "No" or "No, thank you" to someone or something, in order to say "Yes" to myself.

I'm becoming increasingly comfortable with the notion that No is not necessarily a negative. It's actually liberating to say, and to practice.

So long as I am "for something" ( like resting, exercising, nurturing my soul, hanging out by myself ) and not "against something" else ( like, just saying "no" to be difficult ) I am fine with NO.

Saying No once in awhile, allows me to say "Yes" with enthusiasm, more often.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 11

Today I am grateful for a gift my mom gave me when I was small :

OPTIMISM.

I think there is a clear difference between optimism and naivety/ignorance/denial.

Part of naivety is to believe that a situation doesn't have an impact.
Part of ignorance about your situation is to be unaware that there is a solution.
Part of denial is to ignore the problem and/or the solution.

I believe that to be optimistic does not make you an idiot to know in your heart that everything will work out for the best. To be optimistic is to choose the positive side of a situation. To be optimistic is to choose happiness in your life, regardless of your present circumstances.

My mom and I "argue" about who came up with our shared mantra "Every problem has a solution". She thinks that I came up with it; I believe she instilled it in me and I just "shared" it back in my adult life.

When you seriously look at a situation, no matter how dire it appears, there is always a solution. All Ways. You just have to be prepared to LOOK at the situation. And you know what? Not every solution is favorable, or feels good. But solutions exist. They allow you to make a decision and move on. That in itself is a positive.

I know in my heart of hearts, that no matter what is thrown is my way, OR what I attract ( which really is the key to learning what I'm supposed to learn in that moment);

There IS a SOLUTION.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
And I WILL BE OKAY.
In fact, I WILL BE BETTER THAN OKAY.

This is the gift my mom gave me in the womb. It's a FACT.

You can not convince me otherwise.

Thank you, Mom


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 10

Well, it's actually the 11th day, but since I'm still awake at 1:30, I think this still qualifies as Day 10.

I'm so wiped out so I will make this short.....

I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends these days; trying to fit everything and every ONE into my schedule.

So, today I am grateful that I HAVE two ends of the candle to burn. I have my health, my wit and my sense of humor. I'm very fortunate that I CAN burn the candle at both ends.

I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel....things will slow down, and then I will be grateful for the break.

It's always the way it should be.

Gratitude...

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 9

I had a fantastic day. Early in the day, I had a discussion about my "trust meter" with a friend of mine. I want to get back to my gratitude for trust at a later date, because later I was inspired to write about HONESTY.

I watched the Oprah interview with Sarah Ferguson this evening and was touched at just how honest Sarah appeared. She seemed truthful and vulnerable, and sincere.

It reminded me that I really do appreciate honesty in my relationships. Trust me, it's sometimes difficult to find. I know we all tell little white lies to protect others, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the "get real" honesty that is shared by people that have a strong "trust meter".

I think it's important not to lie when the truth will do, which is most often. I think it's important to offer truthful opinions when asked by someone you care about. I think it's important to tell people how you feel, even if it risks them being unhappy, or makes you appear the fool.

Sometimes people tell you that they want to hear the truth, but they actually don't. Knowing how to approach these situations is an art. It takes practice. With those people, I tend to have "silent agreements" about how we continue on with our friendship. Both people know, on a very unconscious level, that small lies ( even those by omission) are being told between them. This isn't wrong, it happens. But more and more, I am welcoming people into my life that are "full disclosure" type of people. If I am uncomfortable with their honesty or their truth, it says more about me than it does about them.

I'm grateful for the few people in which I have a completely honest relationship with. You know who you are.

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 8

Today, and every day, I am grateful for my FRIENDS.

I was given a heart token today that read "Friends are the family we make for ourselves". I found that so appropriate, especially as lately I have really been evaluating my relationships and trying to strengthen the friendships that are deep and meaningful to me.

One day I was having a rough "family" day and made a joke : "Family is the reason we make friends". I really didn't mean it, because my family is tremendous. I know you may be thinking "Yeah right, no one's family is perfect or wonderful all the time", but my family really is. My parents have set an example about how to treat each other ( they've been divorced for 30+ years) that I haven't seen demonstrated very often. My brother is amazing and the rest of my extended family adds so much substance to my life.

But, my FRIENDS.....my friends are amazing. I am so grateful to have such beautiful, straightforward, caring friends. They also are incredibly patient with me when I "disappear" or aren't 100 % present in their lives. I always feel supported, never alone. In fact, the only time I feel lonely is when I take myself "out". They always reach out, even if I am not always available to receive their love.

So, to my friends. Thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being in my extended "family"

Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 7

I laughed a lot today. And ended my evening with a phone call full of laughter.

I'm so grateful to have people in my life that bring me joy. There is nothing better than a good, deep, belly laugh.

I laughed a lot on the weekend, too. Laughed until I cried. Had some sad tears as well, but the laughter is what I remember the most.

I'm so grateful to have people in my life that I feel safe enough to cry around. They are usually the ones that also make me laugh with the most feeling and sincerity.

I know I will laugh tomorrow too, because life is too short to go around being worried and stoic.

I'm so grateful that I can go to bed tonight, full of love and joy, and wake up happy tomorrow.


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 6

...."please ensure your own oxygen mask is securely fastened before you attempt to assist others with their masks"....

We all know the flight attendant speech that is made before each flight we take off on. The reason they want us to put our own oxygen mask on before helping someone else is so that we CAN help the other person. Without our own mask, we may not get the oxygen we need to ensure that we are capable of helping others.

Today, I am grateful for OXYGEN MASKS. Not the ones that fall from the ceiling of an airplane in the event of an accident, but the people who in my life that support me. I picked up the analogy from the facilitator of the workshop I attended this weekend. She made such a good point about having people around you that speak your language and can breathe life back into you, when you feel as though you can't breathe or carry on.

In life, much like on a plane, oxygen masks are rare. There are enough for everyone, but they aren't necessarily in abundance.

There are a few people who speak my language, who know the cues to watch for when I am "out of breath", who are my lifeline. They are available, literally and figuratively, when I need them. They can sense the turbulence and "drop from the ceiling" so that I can take a breath and survive another day.

I am so grateful for my Mom, Dad, and cherished Friends....

My Oxygen Masks.

THANK YOU


Gratitude....

30 Days of Gratitude - Days 4 and 5

I had some anxiety on Friday when I found out the hotel room I was staying in didn't have wifi. This meant that I couldn't post to my blog while I was away for the weekend. It did, however, allow me to focus on the person I was spending time with, which makes me grateful. More on that a little later in the post. In the meantime, I will fill you in on what I initially intended to post....

Day 4

Today I am grateful for being ALIVE. I am grateful every day, but day 4 was my birthday, which is that annual wake up call that, whether you like it or not, makes you stop for a moment and take stock of your life.

I love getting older. When I was in my 20s, I thought I knew it all. And now, in my 30s, I KNOW that I don't KNOW it all. I'm so excited to see what the future holds, while I do my best to live in each moment.

It really disappoints me when people have a birthday and find it depressing because they don't believe they are where they should be in life. Instead of reflecting on where one "should" have been, I suggest looking at where you are. If you look closely, you will probably recognize that you are EXACTLY where you should be.

Are you happy? Are you ALIVE? More importantly, are you happy and grateful to be alive? I know that I am.

I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for my wonderful parents. So, this would be an appropriate opportunity to express my gratitude of them. I also wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for the "village" of people that have "raised" me; parents, family, friends, teachers, mentors.

Gratitude....

Day 5

Today I am grateful for the UNIVERSE'S INTUITION.



Let me explain....

This weekend I was enrolled in a workshop that arrived at just the right moment in my life, because I was ready for it.

This workshop really required my utmost attention. It required my dedication. It required no distraction.

Well, guess what? Because my intent was clear, which was to be present, the universe created an environment which allowed me to focus on my goal.

Normally, my cell phone rings several times a day for business and I am inundated with texts and emails from clients and colleagues. This weekend, the phone was eerily but gratefully quiet. This enabled me to do what I needed to do.

Gratitude....

Read last year's birthday blog post here...