Happy "Prove your love to me" Day!

I remember when Valentines day was fun. Our teacher would send home a list of everyone boy and girl in our class, so that come Valentine's day no one would be left out of a getting a card. Occasionally, a few people would get more than others, but rarely did one person get excluded entirely. I think that was in grade 3.

Things have changed.

Now, it's more common than not for people to be excluded and feel lonely on this ridiculous made up "Hallmark" holiday.

I'm not writing this because I'm single and just generally have a hate-on for Valentine's day. That's because I'm married. I'm writing this because there are a bunch of women out there that need a wake up call.

I'm not writing this to tell you to stop celebrating your Hallmark holiday. I'm just wanting people to think about it a bit.

Yes, I know there are men out there that love Valentines day as much as the women. Come on guys, put up your hands!

*crickets*

Look, celebrate your love for eachother on Valentine's day.

Let me repeat that.

Celebrate.Your.Love.For.Eachother.On.Valentine's.Day.

Notice I didn't say "Prove your love for eachother on Valentine's day"?

Let's pull out the key words : Celebrate. Love. Eachother.

Yes, people, in case things have changed, love is a 2 way street.

Expecting your man to make you breakfast in bed, call you 16 times, Send you a dozen perfect roses from the most expensive florist in town - at the precisely perfect time so you can rub it in your co-workers face, take you for an expensive lunch, pick you up from work wearing a heart endorned scarf to take you for dinner at a 5 star restaurant only to come home to a flower petal trail to a hot bubble bath and 3 hours of lovemaking, and then pulling a hissy fit if he doesn't celebrate Valentine's day or PROVE HIS LOVE to you, to your exact specifications, isn't love.

Oops. I forgot the giant card that he rushed out to buy at 11 o'clock on Sunday night so that he'd avoid the wrath of you.

Putting men in a position to fail isn't love.

Men are different than us romantic, sentimental creatures. Some men are natural romantics. Some aren't. Stop forcing the issue.

I don't want my partner to hand me a valentine's gift with that "deer in the headlights" aka "Did I buy the right thing, Oh my god, please don't melt down on me" look in his eyes.

I want my partner to love me everyday. He doesn't have to buy me a tacky heart shaped pendant with diamond dust sprinkled all around it from Kay's Jewelers to prove it. I don't expect him to spend 3x on flowers for one day when the next he could spend what those flowers are worth.

The only thing I expect him to spend is his time. Not just on Valentine's day. Every day.

Stop specifying how love looks. It's one day! Grow up!

And while I'm on the subject, to you women that throw a hissy fit about the engagement ring your future spouse has presented you with : Smarten up.

You don't like the ring he gave you? Here's a newsflash : If he bought it for you without pissing his shorts in fear, and asked you to marry him without passing out in fear, I'd say that's a pretty big accomplishment. Oh, and what did you buy him? Was it worth 2 months of salary?

I heard about a woman who hated her engagement ring so much that she threw it out of a moving vehicle.

What you do with the love you're given says a lot about you.

Stop dictating how you think love looks. Love looks the way your partner is capable of showing you. Let's stop scaring the crap out of our lovers, shall we?

Be grateful.

Eat the pie first - life is short

I just got home from Safeway. I would have written this first, but I had to enjoy 2 pieces of banana cream pie....

I stopped at Safeway to pick up some small items; 2 jars of pickled jalapenos, a loaf of bread, a Pre-cooked chicken, 4 "healthy" boathouse juices and an (impulse item) banana cream pie. Most of the check-outs were busy, so I went to til #4, because it had no one in line. The cashier was very pleasant, and we laughed when I apologized for my items by saying "Not a very congruent mix here, with the pie and all". She responded by saying "I always eat the pie first...life is short." She won me over right there and then.

As she was checking my items, she looked at my wrist and remarked as to how much she liked my bracelet. Always wanting to promote my friends, I told her that I bought the bracelet at my friend Kim's store. I proceeded to tell her that Kim, who is tall and gorgeous, empowers women by making them feel beautiful the moment they walk into her store. I always feel amazing and beautiful when I am in Kim's presence, even though she is an absolute "show stopper". It's because she feels confident in her beauty as a woman and does not feel her beauty is diminished by giving another woman power in theirs.

The cashier whispered to me " Between you and me, I'd love to open my own store. It's always been a dream of mine, but you know....money." I noticed how alive her eyes were when she was talking about her dream. I was pretty remarkable. I responded by saying "I understand where you are coming from, but if you "feel" it, do it!" She said "My daughter has 2 years left of school and then maybe I'll do it then". I said "FOR SURE you'll do it then!" Then she said something that broke my heart...."Between you and me, I don't want to tell anyone about my dream because if it didn't happen I'd feel stupid".

I put my debit card back in my wallet, and then I looked her in the eyes and said "Do it. I'd shop at your store." She laughed and said "Aw, thanks hon, maybe some day!"

This is the same woman who encouraged me to "eat the pie first, because life is short", standing there telling me that she is afraid to tell people about her dream because she doesn't want to look stupid if it doesn't happen.....

That's because she hasn't actually decided to follow her dreams.

Let me tell you this...once you make a decision, you have no choice but for your decision to become reality.

Once you make a decision, you let the universe aware of your intentions and you create the reality of it.

Making the decision is often the biggest part of making the dream come true.

Eat the pie first folks, life is short.

Make a decision.

*this event in my life today was HUGE. I made a decision about 2 months ago about a business that will affect many women's lives. Meeting this cashier today only provided me even more fuel to follow my dream. I can't wait to go and find her once my dream becomes a reality. I am going to help her make hers a reality too. Stay tuned......