Changing my mind

I usually exist in a world that is quite positive. I believe that life is good and with an optimistic attitude comes a pleasant experience. This has worked for me all of my life. I am always aware of my self-talk and do my best to catch myself when I'm not thinking in the right direction to achieve my goals.

Last week I totally forgot to do that.

Monday was grey and cold. Miserable. And so, I decided that I was also grey, cold and miserable. And guess what? I was. All week. Five whole days!

Normally, I recognize that I'm in a bad mood and give myself a timeline to "get over it". Last week I just sat in the mud. Stuck. I wanted to be down and dirty. I wanted to be unlovable.

I avoided people. I broke plans. I just felt fucking sorry for myself. I actually thought about running away. Literally. Instead of turning north off the main highway that takes me home, I was tempted just to keep driving west. Into the mountains. Into the ocean, if that's what it took. No, I'm not suicidal. I just wanted a fresh outlook. A fresh start. I wanted to get clean.

On Saturday, I got my fresh start. The sun was out. I found some good music to listen to. There was a spring in my step. Nothing had changed in my life, except for my mind.

I decided that I was going to approach my challenges with a new perspective. I was enthusiastic about work and my relationships. I wanted to reach out and talk to people, to make them feel important. And in turn, I felt good. I appreciated the things that people did for me and did things for others that they could appreciate. I was impeccable with my word.

People that I love reached out and found me. Many of them had no idea I was falling. Yet, they were there. It was awesome that they were intuitive and felt my need. (I'm not good at asking for help).

Yesterday, I cleaned off my desk. Rearranged it entirely. Placed my goals in front of me, in writing. Checked of my "to do" list. Made another. Took a deep breath and realized that I had changed my mind about how things were going to look in my immediate future.

Today I feel new.

There's an old saying that changing one's mind is a woman's prerogative.

I agree, and I beg to differ.

In fact, it is everyone's prerogative.

You can change your mind.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 11

Today I am grateful for a gift my mom gave me when I was small :

OPTIMISM.

I think there is a clear difference between optimism and naivety/ignorance/denial.

Part of naivety is to believe that a situation doesn't have an impact.
Part of ignorance about your situation is to be unaware that there is a solution.
Part of denial is to ignore the problem and/or the solution.

I believe that to be optimistic does not make you an idiot to know in your heart that everything will work out for the best. To be optimistic is to choose the positive side of a situation. To be optimistic is to choose happiness in your life, regardless of your present circumstances.

My mom and I "argue" about who came up with our shared mantra "Every problem has a solution". She thinks that I came up with it; I believe she instilled it in me and I just "shared" it back in my adult life.

When you seriously look at a situation, no matter how dire it appears, there is always a solution. All Ways. You just have to be prepared to LOOK at the situation. And you know what? Not every solution is favorable, or feels good. But solutions exist. They allow you to make a decision and move on. That in itself is a positive.

I know in my heart of hearts, that no matter what is thrown is my way, OR what I attract ( which really is the key to learning what I'm supposed to learn in that moment);

There IS a SOLUTION.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
And I WILL BE OKAY.
In fact, I WILL BE BETTER THAN OKAY.

This is the gift my mom gave me in the womb. It's a FACT.

You can not convince me otherwise.

Thank you, Mom


Gratitude....