What the F❤ck is Ladylike?

"I’m sorry about your girl
Little center of the universe
Axis turns the world
And you need a jet to get to her
Oh, the way she moves, attracts all kinds of focus
From all over the room
She smokes, not ladylike. She’s not ladylike....

The song scattered throughout this post is written and performed by an amazing woman, and artist, Storm Large. It, along with another song (Dave Matthews Band's "The Stone") really resonates with me every time I hear it.

I often question what ladylike is, because, I admit it; sometimes I am not.

I curse. I wear jeans, rocker T's and leather bracelets. I drink from time to time. And I speak my mind.

A lot of the time.

I do, however, clean up well. I have beautiful designer business clothes that I wear when necessary. I love purses. I cannot pass a shoe store without having a look. I carry on conversations ( 99.99% of them, in fact,) without swearing. I am gracious and kind.

I don't think "ladylike" is always what is on the outside. Sure, you can dress anyone up and present them to the world, but if they don't have what it takes to be a "lady", their appearance will just become a costume.

So, what the fuck is ladylike?

To me, you can answer that question in 2 ways.

Ladylike can be a way you carry yourself. It can come through in the way you present yourself as a human being, a soul. Do you care about people, and does it shine through, sincerely? Do you laugh often, not at others, but with them? Can you look beyond your own mirror into someone else's' eyes, and sympathize with them? Can you? Moreover, will you?

It can shine through in your appearance. Do you care about how you look on the outside? Because, trust me, if you feel lovely on the outside, it is easier to feel lovely on the inside...and then it shines through. But it isn't all about clothes. It can be the laugh lines around your eyes, or a gentle smile. More importantly, it's in the way you carry yourself. Can you enter a room and make your presence known without stealing the show?

In many ways, to me, that is ladylike.

And then, there is lady like. And what I mean by that is doing what the lady likes...

...Well I’m so sorry about your wife
She’s up and off and running

Going on with her own life
Word to your mother
She’s stunning

And there’s a part of you
That’s just a little scared of her
Axis turns the world

And you need a jet to get to her
She’s great and she knows

How to wear the pants
And the rest of your clothes...

I think it is important to do the things that create balance in your life. That is part of nurturing your womanhood. The lyrics above describe me in many ways. I have my own life, apart from my duties as a wife and a business woman. I have never felt more empowered than I have since embracing my needs and focusing my energy on what is important to me. Without that gift to myself, I can turn into a monster....which is in no way, ladylike.

I believe that the key is to do what you like without reckless disregard for those around you. It's an art. If you haven't done "what you want" for much of your life, and then suddenly embrace this value, it can be frightening for you and for those around you. Approaching this with grace embodies the ideal of "ladylike".

What the fuck is ladylike

If ladies like to do what the fuck they like
Just like you, yeah. Just like you

Look out man here comes another one...

Like anything, terms and characterizations, rules and ideas are all open to interpretation. Under my interpretation, I am a lady...

A well-rounded, well-spoken lady who likes to kick a little ass.

...On my knees or on all fours
From underneath
Hear me roar"

Lyrics by Storm Large "Ladylike"